Turtles Went To Picnic !

turtle

A turtle family went on a picnic.. The turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outings.Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place. During the second year of their journey they found it. For about six months theycleaned up the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements.

Then they discovered the had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home.

Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left.

Three years passed– and the little turtle had not returned. Five years…six years.. then in the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and began to unwrap a sandwich.

At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, “SEE I knew you wouldn’t wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt.”

The Moral Is…

Some of us waste our lives waiting for people to live up to our expectations of them. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we don’t do anything ourselves.

Jokes to end your weekdays !

When u get this sms, send it 2
1 person u love,
1 u hate,
1 u always think of
& 1 u wish 2 kill..

…..Now keep guessin y i sent it 2 U.

HOW TO START YOUR DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

1. Open a new file in your PC.
2. Name it ” Boss ”
3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN
4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN
5. Your PC will ask you, “Are you sure you want to delete Boss permanently? ”
6. Answer calmly, “Yes,” and press the mouse button firmly….
7. Feeling better?

Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home& devil
in bed. But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home& economist in Bed.

What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink.

Q: What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

Mother: So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Boy: Not really, but I don’t see any other way to marry your daughter

There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change Clinic. It reads “We may
never piss this way again.”

Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!

Q: What’s the diff between mother & wife?
A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.

Boss: I’ll give you 3000 per month and in three months, I’ll raise it to
6000. So when would you like to start?
Santa: In 3 months.

A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week.
Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take to say “Uh-huh” or “Yes dear” or “I’m sorry” ?

Pilot asking permission to land said, “Guess who?”
Controller switches the field lights off and replied, “Guess where!”

More funny quotes for your day !

in order to get a job, a man rerequires 100% talent…

where as

a female requires only 4% talent..

remainig is ..

\3/\6/
)24(
(3|6)

………………………………………….

On the first night of honeymoon the wife crazyhusband says”My sweet darlingI am going to take you to moon tonight.”

The impatient wife says”Surebut first at least let’s see the rocket to get there.”

………………………………………….

Sex is like Pizza

When its hot ym.. it’s VERY GOOD.

But then when it’s cold its stillĀ  goo….d.

………………………………………….

The saddest part of a Man’s body is his Balls.

The Lord Almighty sentenced them to : Hang Till Death !

Funny quotes for your Monday !

Practice makes a man perfect… – But nobody’s perfect…… So why practice?

Money is not everything. – There’s MasterCard & Visa.

One should love animals. – They are so tasty.

Save water. – Shower with your girl friend.

Love thy neighbour. – But don’t get caught.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman – And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Every man should marry. – After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

The wise never marry – And when they marry they become otherwise.

Success is a relative term. – It brings so many relatives.

Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.

Love is photogenic – It needs darkness to develop

Children in backseats cause accidents – Accidents in backseats cause children

“Your future depends on your dreams” – So go to sleep

There should be a better way to start a day – Than waking up every morning

“Hard work never killed anybody” – But why take the risk !

“Work fascinates me” – I can look at it for hours!

God made relatives; – Thank God we can choose our friends.

When two’s company, – three’s the result!

The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know – So… Why learn.

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station…. What more can I say……..