Turtles Went To Picnic !

turtle

A turtle family went on a picnic.. The turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outings.Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place. During the second year of their journey they found it. For about six months theycleaned up the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements.

Then they discovered the had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home.

Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left.

Three years passed– and the little turtle had not returned. Five years…six years.. then in the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and began to unwrap a sandwich.

At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, “SEE I knew you wouldn’t wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt.”

The Moral Is…

Some of us waste our lives waiting for people to live up to our expectations of them. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we don’t do anything ourselves.

More funny quotes for your day !

in order to get a job, a man rerequires 100% talent…

where as

a female requires only 4% talent..

remainig is ..

\3/\6/
)24(
(3|6)

………………………………………….

On the first night of honeymoon the wife crazyhusband says”My sweet darlingI am going to take you to moon tonight.”

The impatient wife says”Surebut first at least let’s see the rocket to get there.”

………………………………………….

Sex is like Pizza

When its hot ym.. it’s VERY GOOD.

But then when it’s cold its stillĀ  goo….d.

………………………………………….

The saddest part of a Man’s body is his Balls.

The Lord Almighty sentenced them to : Hang Till Death !

Funny quotes for your Monday !

Practice makes a man perfect… – But nobody’s perfect…… So why practice?

Money is not everything. – There’s MasterCard & Visa.

One should love animals. – They are so tasty.

Save water. – Shower with your girl friend.

Love thy neighbour. – But don’t get caught.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman – And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Every man should marry. – After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

The wise never marry – And when they marry they become otherwise.

Success is a relative term. – It brings so many relatives.

Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.

Love is photogenic – It needs darkness to develop

Children in backseats cause accidents – Accidents in backseats cause children

“Your future depends on your dreams” – So go to sleep

There should be a better way to start a day – Than waking up every morning

“Hard work never killed anybody” – But why take the risk !

“Work fascinates me” – I can look at it for hours!

God made relatives; – Thank God we can choose our friends.

When two’s company, – three’s the result!

The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know – So… Why learn.

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station…. What more can I say……..

Joke : Why is it always black people?

There were a total of 15 passengers boarding a small plane on their way to Florida.

One black mother and her child were on their way to visit relatives while the other passengers consisted of the KKK on their way to a convention.

The plane took off and after flying for approximately 12 minutes when an announcement came over the intercom from the pilot saying:

We have overloaded this flight.
We are going to have to start throwing luggage out the window so the p lane won’t go down.’

Two minutes later you could see luggage being thrown out the window.

Five minutes after that, the pilot made a second announcement.

‘We are still experiencing problems. We’re sorry, but the plane is still overloaded and we’re going to have to get rid of some of the weight so the plane won’t go down.’

‘We’re going to have to ask some passengers to jump out of the window when we call you by your name. To make it fair, we’ll go alphabetically. We’ll star t with A. Will all the African Americans please jump now?’

The black woman and her child continued to sit.

The pilot came over the intercom system.

‘Next is B. Will all the Black people please jump now’?

The Black woman and child continued to sit.

The pilot came over the intercom system again..

‘Next is C. Will all the colored people please jump now? ‘

All the KKK was now staring at the mother and child. The black woman and child continued to sit.

The child then looked up at her Mom and said:

‘Mom aren’t we all of those?’

The mother then replied to her daughter,

‘Baby, we niggers tonight and the K’s come before the N’s.’